Did you know...
Jesus's Birthday isn't actually December 25th, but Chuck Norris once sent him a Birthday card on that day. Jesus was too scared to tell Chuck the truth, and that's why we celebrate Christmas.
It's said you can't know someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. This means no one will ever know Chuck Norris because he'd kill you if you touched his shoes.
On a hot Texas day, Chuck Norris heard someone say "it's not the heat, it's the humidity that will kill you." Chuck immediately threw him into the sun.
Bit of Mr Sheen anyone?