Chuck Norris is just like Jesus, except Chuck Norris won't die for your sins. Instead, you'll die for his.
Bruce Lee never died. The true cause of his disappearance is that he asked Chuck Norris to teach him how to perform a roundhouse kick. Being good friends, Chuck Norris promised to teach him, but only after Bruce Lee embarked on an epic journey of the spirit that is still taking place to this day - entirely within Chuck Norris's beard.
Chuck Norris once saved George Bush from choking on a pretzel by roundhouse kicking him in the throat. Chuck had no idea he was choking.