Fascinating Chuck Norris Facts 2.0

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I've been away partying this Weekend so couldn't post Saturday's Chuck Blog  :(   So sorry!

Some of us did manage to brave the freezing night, and at 3am go swimming in the icy sea (I'm on the right): 



 

Anyway...

Quiz Answer - Chuck has appeared in no fewer than 28 major films since 1980, and is still working on some small appearance parts.


Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this “a slow Tuesday.”

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

And finally, our 3rd installment of Llamas with....yes, hats

Fascinating Chuck Norris Facts 1.9

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Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

And its Llamas (with hats) part two!

Fascinating Chuck Norris Facts 1.8

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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris'd.


Chuck also appreciates Llamas, with hats...

Fascinating Chuck Norris Facts 1.7

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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a “Who has more testicles?” contest. Chuck won by 5.

Fascinating Chuck Norris Facts 1.6

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Chuck Norris is 70 YEARS OLD! Thank you for taking part in the poll   :)


Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Fascinating Chuck Norris Facts 1.5

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Chuck Norris originally appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Fascinating Chuck Norris Facts 1.4

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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds until.” After you ask, “Two seconds ’til what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.

Fascinating Chuck Norris Facts 1.3

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Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2XUgE6g7XU


Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Fascinating Chuck Norris Facts 1.2

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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Fascinating Chuck Norris Facts 1.1

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Chuck Norris’ own butt is so afraid of him, it wipes itself.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Fascinating Chuck Norris Facts 1.0

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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth’s atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren’t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. Ever.